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Christina Milian - Until I get Over You

LoL ok lah, since you all ask for it. I show you all bah

haha my face so long sia. nvm lah bo bian de haha

Today did some programming. Super sianz lor, didn’t really feel like doing LOL But thinking about the dead line kind of motivates me to  quickly do abit more But I have to admit it, I only completed view module haha

So many more things to do haha time is running out. SIanz..

Ah well, maybe I could be more motivated tomorrow for whatever reason haha Ok peace out Bye

After 16 weeks of school, it’s finally time to say farewell to my fellow class mates again.

With fate we shall meet again

I think I’ll talk more about my class tomorrow.

Thus we started our 2 months long of holidays.

Today, I realize i very jia lat.. Want to find friend accompany me go cut hair also so hard.. almost cant find any.. It makes me revise on who are really my friends…

Anyway, I’m slowly gaining back the momentum to do PHP coding again.. Completed two main tasks today. A few more tasks to go and I can finally start a new project. LoL

I want to redo my skin one of these days LoL. Hope I can find the time for it man haha.

Ok lah, not much stuff happened today. so Shall stop here and play some go. Good Night.

End of me…

Gastrointestinal Gas.

I guess I finally found the term that describes my long term sickness. Sickness? You ask.

Yes, my dear friends old or new. I’ve been having this sickness ever since I was born. I blame it all on my maid fault. Which maid? I have no idea too. When I was very young, My maid let me suck on the milk bottle even when there is no more milk while she happily chat away with her fellow maid mate. And whenever I cry, she gave me sweet to eat. Thus causing me to have too much air in my stomach in the long run.

In primary school days, My mum told me I always have stomach Pain and I cant eat much. When it comes to Secondary school, air keep filling up my stomach causing me to lose appetite at times or cant eat much. Sometimes feel like burping yet unable to. Until it reach the brink of my throat that I have no choice but to Vomit it out. It sounds awful all the time.

At about Secondary 5, I’ve found out a few sympton that is causing it.

1) Drink Cold Drinks

2) Eat Chili

3) Eat too much

4) Laugh too much

5) Do not eat on time

This is the reason why am I always drinking mineral Water when everyone is drinking coke.

This is the reason why I cant eat Spicy Food

This is the reason why am I so thin now

This is the reason why I cant stay outside for too long

This is the reason why do I have to eat on time

I read up on a few website just now, so far, all the patients had no cure.. Through trials and remedies taken and prescribes by patients, so far not much chance of success rate has been seen.

Looks like this is going to be with me for a long term run now. It seriously sux. I cant enjoy a whole day of outing like everyone else..

But I’m determined to rid of it. By Hook or by Crook I’m going to do alot alot alot of research to find a cure for myself.

or else how to buld myself strong and get girlfriend

IS this a curse or a gift? I suffered, yet i gained. 1 out of 20 people i know has this symtom. Actually the only one i know now is a certain girl.. super sux man.. why must I be the one. haha Only God knows..

haha Yesterday Jeff speech is very powerful. I’ve learnt alot from it. I have faith that I will be cure.

In the name of Jesus

Amen

now in class.

Dont feel like doing work. So many things to read up. So I outsourced hahahaha

Yesterday slept at 5 AM. Was working on some flash video production. LoL I realize morning wake up really totally cannot make it. So in the end took a cab and rested in the cab while chatting with Timothy.

Flash is fun and tiresome LoL. Maybe I will look more into flash in the future.

I think i go do some photoshopping haha bbl

Guess what? For those of you in RP who have not submit a proposal for Professional Profiling, You will not be able to interview individual anymore. Sad hor? LoL

I also sianz liaoz lOL, But I will think of something..definitely. Arrgg!! Must get it done soon or else alot of things to worry about.. LoL

FYP Selection finally came. We are gonna start soon. Ah well.

This Saturday, need to show a video clip thus need to rush finish latest by.. today.

Next week, get the blog skin for generation next done.

By the end of this month, must complete narutofever cms.

Things left undone includes a gallery script that i have not write, A few small modules that need improvisation and comment box that needs more work.

Starting another new project too.. How to juggle with everything? I still dont know. But one way or another…

Thinking through a bit again, a glimpse of hope always surfaced only to be diminish in one or two night. As much as I would want to believe that time will tell. In my heart, I know time has already tell..Second time… failed again.. Is it because of my incapability that causes the down fall or is it because of my cowardness? Struggled for quite a long time already.

God has been fair for them. I’m not really sure about me. But I believe God will be fair to me too. Painful. Torturing.

To help, so much pain has been through..

Insecureness.. Really tough.

Putting me in a very challenging position.

I’m surprised I’m still standing tall. Even at situations some people only think of themself, I was still able to endure them. Thank God for that. I dont need any more trouble.

Now on a brighter side of life…

I’m so proud of two girls that i have spent almost 2 months of my time with.

Yesterday, at TP, they have presented their Final Year Project(FYP) Shopping Cart System to the judges and they have been greeted by smiles and nodding of head and received praised and congratulations for their 2 months of hard work!

Looking back at the 2 months.. I’ve seen their tears.. I’ve seen their joy.. I’ve seen through everything. But one side of me, seems to feel that this is just a journey..There will be more.. as long as I’m going to continue helping..

Even though I’m not at TP to see their face. I can imagine their smile is definitely like gold. So relieved and seems like a light has open up their path. It’s no longer bleak.

Through this journey, I’ve faced so many opposition so many rejection. But I’m glad to say I have planned my time well!

From this point on.. It’s time to worry about my own FYP LoL

Once again, Congratulations Jolene and Joycelyn!

hm.. Nothing to wirte already. But I still feel like ranting abit. Let me see what can I still talk about.. hhm….

Year 2 is coming to an end.. will I stay in contact with them? Maybe 1 or 2 ;P

Ok time to listen to presentation. yar right…

Roti Prata….

Helpless

I guess this is how people felt at a certain point of their life.

We are all humans.. Humans are people with feelings. Nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong with it is that.

Humans do not know how to tame their feelings.

Just like Ichigo.. 

Ichigo is a main character from an anime called Bleach. Through an incident, he inherited a shinigami’s (Warrior from another world a k a Shinigami) power(Reiatsu) to protect his family from hollow(Monster from another world).

Unknowing that he himself had hidden reiatsu, the story unfolds on to show that he actually has an enormous amount of Reiatsu.
“Like water flowing endlessly”

And at a stage of time, he just somehow awaken and released it without knowing how to control his flow.

“Ending up killing the Grandes Menos(Level 80 monster -_-) “

I think humans are like this too..

We all have feelings.. endless feelings too.. we can be very emotional at times and feel anyhow we want. This could be a reason why the word Emo was invented. Pardon me for the lack of knowledge regarding about the origin. But I believe it started from Singapore (For some reason..)

Having feelings is neither a sin nor a crime or wrong.

But allowing yourself to change your mood according to your feeling is quite wrong. It’s quite weather based.

At times, we does it without thinking of the consequences. Which we will come to regret later on..

“Do not let your emotion control you, but control your emotion”

Just like Ichigo,

At a later part of the story, to rescue his friend, he need to go to another world. He was trained to the point of almost death and almost taken over by Hollow. However, he fought well and sustained the hollow in his body.

The Hollow in him is always trying to break free at his weakest point of time, but whenever the hollow was about to break free.. Ichigo was determined in tearing down the mask that the hollow put on for him.

We should be like Ichigo at this.

No matter in what kind of situation, no matter what happen, we must not react to it and allow your mood to determine the outcome.

Instead, we should tame ourself to think clearly even at the worst kind of situation. We should stop FEELING and think through everything in our mind before deciding what to do, “Is this situation correct?” “Is this how we should feel now?” “Is everyone thinking correctly?” “Are we dealing the situation the right way?” “Is there another more effective way to handle it?” “Are we just simply reacting for no reason?”

These are just some questions that we can ask ourself.

I know this kind of thing, easier said then done. Yes of course. Even I myself is also struggling at point of time. Having the knowledge is one thing, Wisdom is yet another.

The difference between knowledge and wisdom is

Knowledge empower and equip you with the knowing.

Wisdom is using your knowledge and knwoing how to apply and applying it.

Actually, I’m very surprised at myself. I know I have tamed myself to a certain extent that I could still think even at a very emo situation. But I realize last few days, I was very helpless.. the feeling of not knowing what to do and dont feel like doing anything is very wrong..

That was when I’m really beginning to feel for some of my friends.. feeling their pain… putting myself on their shoes.. it hurts my heart.. knowing this is just 1/3 of how they really feel. But we must not stop at just feeling.. we need to act!

But I thank God that having him with me.. I have the power to withstand everything and walk back to him.

I may not be dealing situation the best way. But I believe it was the best I could give at that point of time already.

free… break free!!

Ponder.

That’s all we can do.. everything happened for a reason. Everything happened to strengthen us. Everything happened so that other things could fall in place. Everything happened so that when the same situation happened we are able to face it with confidence. Everything happened to allow us to be able to grow in our spirit, body, mind and soul.

Life is just so simple, yet complicated

Recently, there are many things that triggers my mind. Keeps me thinking. What I think of today was quite an interesting topic

What is msn nick for?

Someone told me, “It is for you to express your feeling”

I bet you are nodding your head now having a satisfactory expression eh.

However, I was thinking otherwise, because if that sentence is true. Why am I not able to pen down my feeling on msn nick?

This realization struck me hard and I came to a conclusion version 2.

“It is for me to express my physical attetion feelings which I want everyone to know and not my true feelings.”

Too chim you say? Not at all.

The feeling we’ve put in MSN nick simply shows how you want the world to feel about you. However, there is always another side of our feeling that we do not want others to know. With this reason, we have not write down our true feelings.

So if this is the case why would we still put it in our msn nick?

“SELF DECEPTION IS THE MOST DANGEROUS DECEPTION”

That pretty much summarise everything. I guess I’m not making sense again.

Really having a hard time thinking.. LoL Sometimes… experiencing the same thing.. or rather almost the same thing.. I really feel it for you… this feeling.. you cant understand. Your feeling, I cant totally understand too.. But.. it’s very painful when I thought about the pain you are going through.. I feel like my heart is shattering..

Yet I know I need to be strong.. Seriously.. I’m having difficulty standing up too already. It has come to this stage that I’m thinking of giving up already. Maybe it’s better for me to suffer alone. Rather then two person suffer together. This time I really feel it for you.. The feeling of not wanting to do anything.. The feeling of crapiness.. The feeling of no feeling. As the hypnotical slow and sad romantic songs carry on to play in the background now, a manipulation to my mood is really happening at this moment.. Serious.. I really dont know what to do too.

It’s 1:31 now.. i’m waiting… waiting….

waiting..waiting…